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May 17, 2008 12:01 pm US/Central
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Bittersweet Graduation Day For Some NIU Families
Gayle Dubowski's Family Says The Day Will Be Bittersweet
CHICAGO (CBS) ―
Gayle Dubowski was among the first to receive an undergraduate degree Saturday at Northern Illinois University's commencement ceremonies, and several hundred seniors stood and cheered as a school official read her name.
But she was not there to receive it herself.
The 20-year-old was one of five students killed by a gunman earlier this year, and it was her parents and brother who walked onto the auditorium stage to accept the College of Liberal Arts degree posthumously. NIU's president gave each a hug.
In all, three of the five students shot dead in a Cole Hall geology class on Feb. 14 were to receive posthumous degrees. Families of the other two said they would accept degrees later.
NIU did not plan any separate events marking the killings, apparently wanting to make the day as joyous as possible for the more than 3,000 students receiving degrees.
School President John Peters mentioned the tragedy only indirectly in remarks at the first of three commencement services scheduled Saturday at the NIU Convocation Center, saying the soon-to-be graduates had lived through "great triumph and great tragedy."
"All of us have received the bittersweet gift of perspective," he said, addressing students in a black commencement gown. "We cannot control the circumstances of this gift of perspective, but each of us can decide how to use it."
A moment of silence was held at the start of the morning ceremony "for those who are not here with us today," but the Valentine's Day killings were not specifically mentioned
The others who were to receive posthumous degrees Saturday were Catalina Garcia, a 20-year-old from Cicero majoring in elementary education, and Julianna Gehant, a 32-year-old from Meriden who arrived at NIU after a stint in the U.S. Army. Gehant also studied elementary education.
The NIU community is sending off their 2008 class on Saturday, and pay tribute to those that lost their lives in the deadly campus shooting.
NIU President John Peters mentioned the Feb. 14 tragedy only indirectly during brief remarks at a morning commencement service.
He says this year's graduates have lived through "great triumph and great tragedy" and have all "received the bittersweet gift of perspective."
Before he spoke, a moment of silence was held. But the Valentine's Day killings weren't directly mentioned.
A Family Mourns CBS 2's Vince Gerasole spoke with Dubowski's family, who had hoped to make the journey of commencement with their daughter.
Red and black ribbons remain tied tightly to dozens of trees in the Dubowskis' Carol Stream neighborhood for three months. Her parents are grateful for the tribute to their 20-year-old daughter, killed in a deadly rampage on campus.
"As I walk around it just would make me cry," said Gayle's mother, Laurel Dubowski. "It makes me feel so good everyone is thinking about Gayle and about us."
Still, the images of that violent day when a campus gunman shot and killed five students in Cole Hall are hard to forget, and Dubowski's family remains on the road to recovery.
"It comes and goes in waves as different events and milestones go by," said Gayle's father, Joe Dubowski. "Watching another family welcome their children home for the summer it's hard knowing we won't be welcoming our daughter home for the summer."
But in a symbolic way Saturday the Dubowskis will mark a milestone in their daughter's honor. They'll travel to the NIU campus once again to receive her posthumous degree, a somewhat bittersweet journey.
"It's difficult every time we go, difficult to watch all the kids walking to class as if nothing ever happened and wonder why, why it happened," Laurel Dubowski said.
Victims Catalina Garcia and Julianna Gehant will also be awarded honorary degrees. The families of Ryanne Mace and Dan Parmenter have chosen to accept their children's degrees at a later date.
"It's another ending," Joe Dubowski said. "It puts a kind of exclamation point on what we've been through so far."
The Dubowski home is filled with tributes people have sent in memory of Gayle. And the family holding on to their faith to make sense of the tragedy.
"I can only believe God has allowed it and he is in control and he can bring good out of the worst situations," Laurel Dubowski said.
The two victims who will receive posthumous degrees later are Ryanne Mace, who was a 19-year-old sophomore from Carpentersville studying psychology, and Dan Parmenter, a 20-year-old sophomore from Westchester studying finance.
Linda Greer and Gary Parmenter said they would wait until the year their son would have graduated in 2010 to accept his diploma.
"His friends and the boys in his fraternity would be graduating at that time, and we felt it would be more significant not only to us but to them," Greer said.
The gunman in the killings was Steven Kazmierczak, who was armed with three handguns and a pump-action shotgun he had carried onto campus in a guitar case. He stepped from behind a screen on the stage of the lecture hall and opened fire on a geology class.
The 27-year-old, who had attended NIU himself, fatally shot five students and wounded 18 others before committing suicide.
CBS 2's Vince Gerasole and the Associated Press contributed to this report.
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